Life After Awakening, with Adyashanti

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Friends, I wanted to share with you a free chapter from Adyashanti‘s inspiring (and very provocative) book The End of Your World: Uncensored Straight Talk on the Nature of Enlightenment.

More and more people are waking up spiritually. And for many of them, the question becomes: Now what? “Information about life after awakening is usually not made public,” explains Adya. “It’s most often shared only between teachers and their students.” The End of Your World is his response to a growing need for direction on the spiritual path. Consider this Adya’s personal welcome to “a new world.”

Here is the excerpt, entitled “Exploring Life After Awakening.” 

There’s a phenomenon happening in the world today. More and more people are waking up—having real, authentic glimpses of reality. By this I mean that people seem to be having moments where they awaken out of their familiar senses of self, and out of their familiar senses of what the world is, into a much greater reality—into some- thing far beyond anything they knew existed.

These experiences of awakening differ from  person to person. For some, the awakening is sustained over time, while for others the glimpse is momentary—it may last just a split second. But in that instant, the whole sense of “self ” disap- pears. The way they perceive the world suddenly changes, and they find themselves without any sense of separation between themselves and the rest of the world. It can be likened to the experience of waking up from a dream—a dream you didn’t even know you were in until you were jolted out of it.

In the beginning of my teaching work, most of the people who came to me were seeking these deeper realizations of spirituality. They were seeking to wake up from the limiting and isolated senses of self they had imagined themselves to be. It’s this yearning that underpins all spiritual seeking: to discover for ourselves what we already intuit to be true— that there is more to life than we are currently perceiving.

But as time  has passed, more  and  more  people are coming to me who have already had glimpses of this greater reality. It is because of them that I am giving the teachings in this book.

The Dawning of Awakening

This discovery I’m talking about is traditionally referred to as spiritual awakening, because one awakens from the dream of separation created by the egoic mind. We realize—often quite  suddenly—that our  sense of  self, which  has  been formed and constructed out of our ideas, beliefs, and images, is not really who we are. It doesn’t define us; it has no center. The ego may exist as a series of passing thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions, but in and of itself it has no identity. Ultimately all of the images we have about ourselves and the world turn out to be nothing but a resistance to things as they are. What we call ego is simply the mechanism our mind uses to resist life as it is. In that way, ego isn’t a thing as much as it is a verb. It is the resistance to what is. It is the pushing away or pulling toward. This momentum, this grasping and rejecting, is what forms a sense of a self that is distinct, or separate, from the world around us.

But with the dawn of  awakening, this outside world begins to collapse. Once we lose our sense of self, it’s as if we have lost the whole world as we knew it. At that moment— whether that moment is just a glimpse or something more sustained—we suddenly realize with incredible clarity that what we truly are is in no way limited to the small sense of self that we thought we were.

Awakening to truth or reality is something that is very hard to talk about because it is transcendent of speech. It is helpful, nevertheless, to work with some sort of a guidepost. The simplest thing one can say about the experiential knowledge of awakening is that it is a shift in one’s perception. This is the heart of awakening. There is a shift in perception from seeing oneself as an isolated individual to seeing oneself, if we have a sense of self at all after this shift, as something much more universal—everything and everyone and every- where at the same time.

This shift is not revolutionary; it’s the same as looking in the mirror in the morning and having an intuitive sense that the face you are looking at is yours. It is not a mystical experience; it is a simple experience. When you look in the mirror, you experience the simple recognition, “Oh, that’s me.” When the shift of perception that’s called awakening happens, whatever our senses come into contact with is experienced as ourselves. It’s as if we think with everything we encounter, “Oh, that’s me.” We don’t experience ourselves in terms of our ego, in terms of a separate someone or separate entity. It’s  more a feeling of the One recognizing itself, or Spirit recognizing itself.

Spiritual awakening is a remembering. It is not becoming something that we are not. It is not about transforming ourselves. It is not about changing ourselves. It is a remembering of what we are, as if we’d known it long ago and had simply forgotten.  At the moment  of this remembering, if the remembering is authentic, it’s not viewed as a personal thing. There is really no such thing as a “personal” awakening, because “personal” would imply separation. “Personal” would imply that it is the “me” or the ego that awakens or becomes enlightened.

But in a true awakening, it is realized very clearly that even the awakening  itself is not personal. It is universal Spirit or universal consciousness that wakes up to itself. Rather than the “me” waking up, what we are wakes up from the “me.” What we are wakes up from the seeker. What we are wakes up from the seeking.

The problem with defining awakening is that upon hear- ing each of  these descriptions, the  mind creates another image, another idea of what this ultimate truth or ultimate reality is all about. As soon as these images are created, our perception is distorted once again. In this way, it’s really impossible to describe the nature of reality, except to say that it’s not what we think it is, and it’s not what we’ve been taught it is. In truth, we are not capable of imagining what it is that we are. Our nature is literally beyond all imagination. What we are is that which is watching—that  consciousness which is watching us pretending to be a separate person. Our true nature is continually partaking of all experience, awake to every instant, to each and every moment.

In awakening, what’s revealed to us is that we are not a thing, nor a person, nor even an entity. What we are is that which manifests as all things, as all experiences, as all personalities. We are that which dreams the whole world into existence. Spiritual  awakening reveals that  that  which is unspeakable and unexplainable is actually what we are.

Abiding and Nonabiding Awakening

As I’ve mentioned, this experience of awakening can be just a glimpse, or it can be sustained over time. Now, some would say that if an awakening is momentary, it is not a real awakening. There are those who believe that, with authentic awakening, your perception opens up to the true nature of things and never closes back down again. I can understand  this perspective, since ultimately the  whole spiritual journey does lead us to  a full  awakening. Full awakening simply means that we perceive from the perspective of Spirit—from the view of oneness—all the time.

From this awakened perspective, there isn’t any separation anywhere—not in the world, not in the universe, not in all the universes everywhere. The truth is anywhere and everywhere, at all times, in all dimensions, for all beings. It is a truth that is the source of everything that will ever be experienced—in  life, after life, in this dimension or any other dimension.

From the perspective of  the ultimate, literally every- thing—be it at a higher or lower dimension, here or there, yesterday, today, or tomorrow, everything—is but a manifestation of Spirit. It is Spirit itself that wakes up. So, ultimately, the trajectory every being is on, whether they know it or not, is a trajectory toward full awakening—toward  a full knowing, toward a full experiential knowledge of what they are, toward unity, toward oneness.

But the moment of awakening may or may not result in a permanent seeing. As I said, some people will tell you that unless it’s permanent, the awakening is not real. What I’ve seen as a teacher is that the person who has a momentary glimpse beyond the veil of duality and the person who has a permanent, “abiding” realization are seeing and experiencing the same thing. One person experiences it momentarily; another experiences it continually. But what is experienced, if it is true awakening, is the same: all is one; we are not a particular thing or a particular someone that can be located in a particular space; what we are is both nothing and every- thing, simultaneously.

So, as I see it, it doesn’t really matter whether an awakening is instantaneous or continuous. It matters in the sense that there is a trajectory—nobody’s heart will be totally fulfilled until that perceiving from the point of view of truth is continuous—but what is seen is an awakening, whether it is sustained or not.

This glimpse of awakening, which I call nonabiding awakening, is becoming more and more common. It happens for a moment, an afternoon, a day, a week—maybe as long as a month or two. Awareness opens up, the sense of the separate self falls away—and  then, like the aperture on a camera lens, awareness closes back down. All of a sudden that person who had previously perceived true nonduality, true oneness, is quite surprisingly now perceiving back in the dualistic “dream state.” In the dream state, we’re back in our conditioned sense of self—in a limited, isolated sense of being.

The good news is that once a moment of this clear seeing has actually taken place, the aperture of our awareness can never completely close down again. It may seem like it has closed down completely, but it never quite does. In the deep- est part of yourself, you don’t ever forget. Even if you’ve only glimpsed reality for a moment,  something within you is changed forever.

Reality is nuclear; it’s incredibly powerful. It’s unimaginably potent. People can experience a f lash of reality in the time it takes to snap your fingers, and the energy and the force that enters into them as a result is life altering.

Just one moment  of awakening begins the dissolution of one’s false sense of self and, subsequently, the dissolution of one’s whole perception of the world.

Awakening Is Not What You Imagine It to Be

In a very real sense, it is much more accurate to talk about what we lose upon awakening rather than what we gain. We not only lose ourselves—who we thought we were—but we also lose our entire perception of the world. Separation is only a perception; in fact, when it comes to our world, there is nothing but perception. “Your world ” is not your world; it is only your perception. So while it may seem negative at first, I think it’s much more useful to talk about spiritual awakening in terms of what we lose—what we awaken from. This means we’re talking about the dissolution of the image we have of ourselves, and it’s  this dismantling of who we thought we were that is so startling when one wakes up.

And it is indeed startling: it’s not what we think it’s going to be like at all. I’ve never had a single student come back and say, “You k now, Adya, I peered through the veil of separation, and it’s pretty much what I thought it would be. It measures up pretty closely to what I’ve  been told.” Usually they come back and say, “This is nothing like what I imagined.”

This is especially interesting since many of the people I teach have been studying spirituality for many years, and they often have very intricate ideas about what awakening is going to be like. But when it happens, it is always different from their expectations. In many ways, it is grander, but also in many ways, it is simpler. In truth, if it is to be true and real, awakening must be different from what we imagine it to be. This is because all of our imaginings about awakening are happening within the paradigm of the dream state. It is not possible to imagine something outside of the dream state when our consciousness is still within it.

How Does Your Life Change after Awakening ?

With awakening there also comes a total reorganization of the way we perceive life—or at least the beginning of a reorganization. This is because awakening itself, while beautiful and amazing, often brings with it a sense of disorientation. Even though you as the One have awakened, there is still your whole human structure—your body, your mind, and your personality. Awakening can often  be experienced as very disorienting to this human structure.

So it is the process that happens after awakening that I want to explore. As I’ve said, for a very few people, the moment of awakening will be complete. It will be final in a certain sense, and there will be no need for a continuing process. We might say that such people had an extraordinarily light karmic load; even though they may have experienced extreme suffering before awakening, one can see that their karmic inheritance, the conditioning that they were dealing with, wasn’t too deep. This is very rare. Only a few people in a given generation may wake up in such a way that there’s no further process to undergo.

What I always tell people is this: don’t count on that person being you. Better to count on being like everyone else, which means that you will undergo a process after an initial awakening. It won’t be the end of your journey. What I will attempt to do here is to point you in a direction that may be useful and orienting as you embark on that journey. As my teacher used to say, it’s like getting your foot in the front door. Just because you’ve gotten your foot in the front door doesn’t mean you have turned the lights on; it doesn’t mean you have learned to navigate in that different world that you’ve awakened to.

I’m very happy that this book, which is based on a series of  talks I’ve given, offers  me the opportunity to  address this subject—the question of what happens after  awaken- ing. The information that exists on life after awakening is not usually made public. It’s most often shared only between spiritual teachers and their students. The problem with that approach is that, as I’ve said, a lot of people are now having these moments of awakening, and there is very little coher- ent teaching available for them. In that sense, this book is meant to be a welcoming to that new world, that new state of oneness.

endworld

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128 Responses

  1. […] to have observed signs that such an awakening may be underway. Teachers like Eckhart Tolle, Adyashanti and Jac O’Keefe all say something is very different in their field of work, and individuals […]

  2. […] claim to have observed signs that such an awakening may be underway. Teachers like Eckhart Tolle, Adyashanti and Jac O’Keefe all say something is very different in their field of work, and individuals […]

  3. […] signos de que tal despertar podría estar en marcha. Profesores como  Eckhart Tolle ,  Adyashanti  y  Jac O’Keefe  dicen que algo es muy diferente en su campo de trabajo, y ahora los […]

  4. […] to have observed signs that such an awakening may be underway. Teachers like Eckhart Tolle, Adyashanti and Jac O’Keefe all say something is very different in their field of work, and individuals […]

  5. […] to have observed signs that such an awakening may be underway. Teachers like Eckhart Tolle, Adyashanti and Jac O’Keefe all say something is very different in their field of work, and individuals […]

  6. simon
    | Reply

    Its easy to remember what happened to me just over a year ago. Although i struggle to know what to do next. I was walking back from a friends house who lived just 5 minits walk from my house when i suddenly turned the corner and seen everything diffrently i looked along the street at all the fancy cars that people work so hard to get and seen them as worthless money houses and the things people get so caught up with in life just didnt seem real infact i kniw they werent real life i continued walking down the street in a trance like state and i looked up to the street light amd suddenky i seen a ring off couloyrs round it that got bigger and bigger anf started flying around untill i looked Ahead at the hill arthur seat where ilive in edinburgh scotland and it was like i could here mythiughts outloud saying anyone can do anything they put there mind to you just need to shout loud enough and be a voice to be heard. And then it was like i snapped out off the trance but knew exactky what happened and i had to sit down for 10 mins before i entered my house. Although this was a year ago now i think About it all the time and feel i could never go back to the way i was blinded before.

  7. […] who have been teaching it for many years, it’s getting more common. Teachers like Eckhart Tolle, Adyashanti and Jac O’Keefe all say something is very different in their field of study, and individuals are […]

  8. […] have been teaching it for many years, it’s getting more common. Teachers like Eckhart Tolle, Adyashanti and Jac O’Keefe all say something is very different in their field of study, and individuals […]

  9. Pam
    | Reply

    wow it is great hearing all these experiences. It is amazing how different we all are. for me this awakening is so ordinary so extra ordinary. I can not recall any kundalini rising or any great moment of dissolution, i was at home and one day about four months ago I realised I could not find me, I could not sense any I. I hadn’t even noticed when it went!!!!! so now there is no sense of separation, and I don’t even know what that separation would have been, from when I was thinking and experiencing separation. Home. an abiding being. Aloneness was such an intense experience and now no aloneness …all oneness. This is so beautiful and Grace is… There is no one to try and be more anything because the ego is totally impotent and it still tries. lol. The body is so deeply relaxed like it has come home to itself, no sense of an inner or an outer life. When I breath in I can not sense an in or out? anyone else have this? It is odd and nothing that the egoic self thought! There is no one around who can nod and go yep yep, so this site is very appreciated. I will get the book. I have one by Ric Weinman? who has a book out and has mapped the deepening awakenings to assist others and is very good.

  10. lariegs
    | Reply

    Hello,

    Your story struck me due to all of the similarities we share. I had a spontaneous awakening when I was 19. That profound experience was over 8 years ago. I was been forever changed by it. (Once the lights come on and you are able to see & experience the truth you can never unsee it.) You may become disconnected and get off track but you’ll always know whats truly out there and all of its possibilities. Thats where i am currently at. The light has tuned off and I find my self in an incredibly dire place. isolation, addiction, looming divorce, etc are just some of the things that I’m dealing with. I really can’t believe that I could become this disconnected and stuck in life, especially after being so connected and thriving in the past.

    Every day since my awakening regardless of how troubled, disconnected, or caught up in 3D human issues I may be I see my numbers all day and everywhere. 11 in the form 111, 1111, etc were the first numbers i saw, then the two’s started, and more recently the three’s. All master numbers. Even after all these years I couldn’t tell you exactly what my guides and God are attempting to communicate with me with each individual number I see. In the past while i was connected and thriving I had a period when I fully understood what each number meant. The messages God and my spirit guides were wanting me receive i was able to.

    Since my spirit guides with their many reminders have been one of the most constant things I experience, I naturally assumed throughout the first few years of my struggle that it was just a necessary part of my growth process, that my guides were right beside me the whole way, and that as soon as I learn what I’m supposed to learn things will start to go back to normal. It has now been so long that that maintaining that hopeful attitude has become quite difficult. During the last 18 months I have had several failed attempts at seriously changing my life and even experienced a mini awakening throughout the course of 1 day which miraculously returned me back to normal, sober without even a thought of using for 7 months. They obsession eventually returned and now I’m back where I was.

    The numbers do occur less frequently nowadays but still often enough for me to consider them relevant and important. They kind of anger me now because I’ve seen these current numbers for so long with no clue as to what they mean and my life is still as unmanageable as ever. More than actually. It’s like what is the point of my guides sending me these reminders still. I feel like a lost cause.
    Your description of what your life currently looks like is a lot like the life I had while connected and thriving and is the life I dream about having again in the future. You are at peace with everything. You do not allow fear to control you in any way as you gracefully live gods will and trust that he will take care of you…And he does. I hope you receive this and feel up to responding to me some time.

    guestme11223344@outlookcom

    `Fu

  11. Liane Volkmann
    | Reply

    biuuuutiful 🙂 I have read this book in 2011 in an intital awakening period. When reading it it was funny as I thought oh..all of this does not really apply to me, I am one of the lucky ones with light karma…. :-)…ooops…well..now almost 6 years later I feel like I have been literally through hell 🙂 So thank you adyashanti for this book, it definitely meets the core. The last year I honestly thought all is done but then turned out to be the helliest of all periods. The helliest and enlighteningest 🙂 So now there is peace and love. And just in these days I come across a satsang teacher who I attended one satsang with who is stating that the person will continue to exist after “enlightenment” ? He is saying that the pointers by all the gurus are not to be taken absolute, including the very pointer that ” I am the awareness”. So I got onto platform and telling him otherwise as exactly that sense of individual consciousness continued here even so again and again I would perceive myself in everything as myself. And he calls it passing onenessexperience. Which after all these years seems to have established permant now…so I am still illlusioned?! I remember addressing this inner conflict to a dear teacher who is ver radical. And he negated fiercly that there is no individual consciousness and there never will be. Sooo..back then I questioned him, that he might got it wrong..as I feel very individual ongoing even so I see that all is one. And now I seemt to got it all aligned withing myself and then this other teacher shows up negating all of it again??? And now I am really confused once again. Am I still caught up in some mind game?

  12. Jono
    | Reply

    It is scary.. A soul contract led me to deeper understanding and then my love for music led me to hear what source is trying to convey. Songs I have heard for decades now resonate and I hear new meaning in the lyrics that were once just randon to me. Every song I hear speaks to me about letting go of the flesh and bone, setting my soul on fire, sun, moon, esoterics and other things which I never would have cared to know about. Now it consumes me. philosophy and psychology and all this is all I care about. I dont know where its leading but I occasionaly felt the heavy burden being lifted right out of my head at times. I felt weightless. If this is the feeling that comes with this path I long to learn more

    • Mikael Roussel
      | Reply

      Hello Jono.
      I will give you an advice given by my guru when I was at the same place as you are. Do not read any more books. Instead find a practice in which you can develop yourself, whether it is through Yoga or Buddhism or Zen. Spirituality in practice is freeing, spirituality in the mind us a burden, all those things you will read are only the shadow of what you can experience with practice, it can blind you. All this knowledge is useless if it comes from books, but if it comes from experience then you will be settled in it

  13. Coreypisces333
    | Reply

    I experinced an awakening 5 years ago, it was a small window of initial absolut joy to know there was more and I made some major life changes but did not keep them as I slowely fell back asleep. Then 2.5 years after the initial awakening I had what I call a tune up because once you initially connect you can never be unconnected again, so I got my tune up and I was back in the game and then I fell back asleep again and this happens because I didn’t stick to the things I knew would keep me in high vibration and alignment with my higher self. So I got my 3rd and final tune-up 2.5 years after that so that brings us up to the present and the difference this time and what makes it permanent for me is that the duality is gone. I no longer have to make decisions on food or alcohol,drugs, women, gambling, or any of life decisions even small ones. It’s like that voice that was bad had been replaced by a new voice:
    But besides that I know exactly what I should do with every choice I make to stay in high vibration and alignment because the thought of being out of it again dosnt exist anymore. I’ve struggled with many different vices and they don’t even start to creep in at all ever in any way now and I can’t belive I’m saying that. The 3 major instances I had involved the top of my head (crown chakra) going ape shit crazy tingling which then spread down my entire body until I was frozen and vibrating each time being more intense than the last. The last one I ended up curled into fetal position in what felt like a pool of love with no control over body for a period of time that I don’t know how long it lasted but I wanted it to never end. There’s is nothing currently on earth that can duplicate that feeing that’s man made, I’ve tried a lot of different things through my life trust me and after this situation is when I immediately and forever never desired anything that dosnt serve me in a positive way that keeps me aligned. It took me losing everything, wife, kids, car, money and being complete isolated to one room for weeks at a time which gave the opportunity to do the self work I needed to get here and that’s a big key until you go inside look at every Terrible aspect of yourself acknowled it and let it go then you are destined to repeat. That is what the isolation is for, so go through all your inventory of yourself assume every bad thing that’s ever happened was your own fault and trace it back to why it was your own fault and where it came from and you’ll know your own the right track because you should probably end up on your knees balling crying as each emotion passes through you on its way out. Universe has been treating me very well since, gives me exactly what I need even brought me and my twin flame together unfortunately she is the running twin and she’s currently running but if you know anything about twin flames that’s just part the process
    She could run for a week or 10 years but she’ll be back and when she’s back it will be exactly when it was supposed to be and it will be perfect just as it was always planned to be I’m finding out.
    DO THE SELF WORK and this will set you free, the universe or your soul or whatever is running this shit show all it wants is for you to accept yourself, acknowledge everything you’ve done in the ego that made up the character you’ve become and then let it go and then truely love yourself and be whole again.

    • Anonymous
      | Reply

      Hello,

      Your story struck me due to all of the similarities we share. I had a spontaneous awakening when I was 19. That profound experience was over 8 years ago. I was been forever changed by it. (Once the lights come on and you are able to see & experience the truth you can never unsee it.) You may become disconnected and get off track but you’ll always know whats truly out there and all of its possibilities. Thats where i am currently at. The light has tuned off and I find my self in an incredibly dire place. isolation, addiction, looming divorce, etc are just some of the things that I’m dealing with. I really can’t believe that I could become this disconnected and stuck in life, especially after being so connected and thriving in the past.

      Every day since my awakening regardless of how troubled, disconnected, or caught up in 3D human issues I may be I see my numbers all day and everywhere. 11 in the form 111, 1111, etc were the first numbers i saw, then the two’s started, and more recently the three’s. All master numbers. Even after all these years I couldn’t tell you exactly what my guides and God are attempting to communicate with me with each individual number I see. In the past while i was connected and thriving I had a period when I fully understood what each number meant. The messages God and my spirit guides were wanting me receive i was able to.

      Since my spirit guides with their many reminders have been one of the most constant things I experience, I naturally assumed throughout the first few years of my struggle that it was just a necessary part of my growth process, that my guides were right beside me the whole way, and that as soon as I learn what I’m supposed to learn things will start to go back to normal. It has now been so long that that maintaining that hopeful attitude has become quite difficult. During the last 18 months I have had several failed attempts at seriously changing my life and even experienced a mini awakening throughout the course of 1 day which miraculously returned me back to normal, sober without even a thought of using for 7 months. They obsession eventually returned and now I’m back where I was.

      The numbers do occur less frequently nowadays but still often enough for me to consider them relevant and important. They kind of anger me now because I’ve seen these current numbers for so long with no clue as to what they mean and my life is still as unmanageable as ever. More than actually. It’s like what is the point of my guides sending me these reminders still. I feel like a lost cause.
      Your description of what your life currently looks like is a lot like the life I had while connected and thriving and is the life I dream about having again in the future. You are at peace with everything. You do not allow fear to control you in any way as you gracefully live gods will and trust that he will take care of you…And he does. I hope you receive this and feel up to responding to me some time.

      guestme11223344@outlookcom

      `Fu

  14. Jordan
    | Reply

    How do you tell the difference between awakening and just another layer of spiritual bypassing?

    A lot of “awakened” people are disembodied, I’ve noticed.

    Not saying you are, but I’m curious how you reckon with this. It’s something we all face on the path, especially those who’ve experienced trauma.

    • Mia
      | Reply

      Jordan. I agree. I think a lot of egos like to believe they are ‘awakened’. A glimpse, may be hijacked by the ego, and become “my suffering because I’m awakened”. or really an ‘escape’ labelled now, ‘awakening’. Quite a minefield. Or should I say ‘mind-field’.

    • Myrsot
      | Reply

      What I have noticed is that there are different levels of awakening so the awakenings people are having are very real, it’s just not the final one. Regardless of the level of awakening you will be disoriented and will need to adjust to your new knowledge, perspective and, i guess, overall vibration of your “system” and your perceived reality.

      An awakening is an awakening and they are always a great indication of progress in the spiritual path.

  15. Ryan
    | Reply

    This seems all too unreal to me at first. I was awoken after being down on my knees and crying my soul out to God. The next day, I was sent to the hospital. I had a paranoia attack and am still recovering from the PTSD (bad trip) I had that day. I heard spirits on the outside telling me things. I was totally blinded before waking up, doing things that I would definitely not do now. So thankful to be awaken, yet its a life of loneliness for now. Total isolation from the outside world. Anxiety and fear seems to be very strong. I know definitely there is a cure for this because I had 2 days of total bliss a few weeks after my awakening. It was like the higher source was letting me see how great life can be if I somehow conquer this. With meditation, I am able to go deep within me and listen to all my fears and see what is going on in my head. And if somehow I can conquer these fears, I will be free. Haha. It seems as though the universe is telling me, if I want freedom, this is what it takes. Not sure if I sound crazy or not, but I’m going through a phase of just allowing what is and see how much of these anxiety and fear will desensitize. Well, just wanted to share this and allow others to know that you are not alone.

    • Anna
      | Reply

      Hi Ryan, I’m not sure if you will see this 5 months later… but I hope you are doing better. Many have been there and if it’s any comfort, I’ve heard it said (Mooji, in this case) that “every single awakened being will go through their 40 days and 40 nights”. Knowing that has helped me through quite a few dark nights. The struggle is real! But, so is the other side… just keep doing whatever practices resonate with you and you will be fine. I really recommend finding a teacher you resonate with and meeting them in person, if it’s at all possible for you. If not, don’t worry – the One that woke you up, will guide you Home. Be well, and know you are never alone.

  16. Shirley Gastineasu
    | Reply

    I agree with all that is being said. I’ve been feeling a oneness with a sense of being off balance in the body.

  17. Shirley Gastineau
    | Reply

    WOW! Thanks for all of this! Just been feeling all is one.

  18. […] https://manyvoices.soundstrue.com/life-awakening-adyashanti/      That particular article is just really good anyway and anyone on any kind of a journey could benefit i think.  Its time to pop on the secret and catch some zzz’s for this guy. I have a journey to continue in the morrow. Graham Out (mic drop) […]

  19. Brooke
    | Reply

    I am so happy this thread has remained active over the years, it feels really great to know others have experienced the same feelings. There are so many things I could say and describe but I’m pretty sure you all get it already. So I just wanted to say thank you 🙂

  20. MD ABUL KALAM AZAD
    | Reply

    Beautiful experiences. One thing is very common . A last bit of frustration between dream and reality. This is for remainder of last bit of I . Give it up for eternity and in service of mankind. It makes different. You have discovered yourself in void and in reality. Helps the sleeping ones to wake up , this is your only job . Rest of the things will happen by itself.

  21. Ross Hostetter
    | Reply

    I had an experience of awakening when I was a young man, almost 40 years ago. Since then, I’ve read every book I could get my hands on about mystical experience, the unitive life and the awakened state, and have even written and published one myself. I’ve seen a lot of spiritual teachers, been in the inner circle with many ‘names’ on the wisdo-tainment circuit where I experienced a lot of spiritual narcissism, done a lot of meditation, and even started a school—all the while working as a lawyer, being a provider to a family of five, and being in a long-term evolving relationship. None of these things brought that big moment back, and I developed a real resentment, a little personal pity party, against the plain facts of a pretty great life that is full and rich in so many ways. I saw my life in the world as set apart from the life of being in the awakened state, and have had such longing to return to the state now for 40 years time.

    I blamed others for putting me in a situation where I felt I had to make money, support others, and deal with responsibilities instead of simply abiding in that state. It’s been quite a narcissistic trip where my ego locked on to that experience and felt it was my ego’s work to inhabit it, share it, and transmit it to others. I could not figure out why I had such a powerful experience if I could not have a ‘spiritual lifestyle’ and a teaching to go along with it. But now, I’m realizing that it was just an ordinary experience. Nothing about it made me special. It was not ‘my’ experience.

    I’m still confused about how to integrate this in a life with a separate sense of self in which I navigate the world. Awakening should be (my ego says) the best thing that ever happened to me, but it’s brought with it a great deal of pain, confusion, and the constant seeking ‘somewhere else.’

    I deeply appreciate this blog thread. I especially interested in checking out the book Spiritual Enlightenment, the Damnedest Thing. My experience was about 5 days of being inside of God— just in this powerful field of infinite, inter-connected love that I was within that included everything. So joyful, so beautiful. An experience of being small part of something infinite, and connected without boundary as every part of it in a field of love. It may have been the Unitive experience, and not the experience of Truth described here.

    After 40 years of looking, one would think that I would have discovered some secret to enlightenment. But this is not the case. I am and remain just a regular guy. The longing has not gone away, but I have been able recently to drop all the resentments about what life has handed me, and my thinking that it should be something else. I think all the longing for ‘something else’, all the seeking, has been an impediment. If the door ever opens again, I believe it will be on it’s own terms, not mine. I’ve sure learned a lot, grown, done some great work helping people, and become less attached to an identity as a seeker and a hypothetical, unrealized life as a spiritual teacher. I am super-stable in my own ‘relative self’ and with my home and family. I am about to launch a business helping lawyers find more benign ways of being who they are, and how they occur in the world, which does not center on the enlightenment experience at all, just a better and less violent way of ordering of the relative self. I can teach that authentically, which is, I think, a great thing to be able to say.

    • Jenny
      | Reply

      It is so comforting to read from others who are going through the isolation and loneliness after awakening. I pushed away those who have been toxic for me including my family and grown kids. So now where from here?. I want to rebuild my life with supportive relationships and perhaps a way to make a living that will be aligned with my purpose.

      • jeff777
        |

        Hi Jenny, Im doing a similar thing, trying to connect with others on a similar path, thats why im here, nice to meet you 🙂

      • Brent
        |

        I agree completely. It is nice to know I am not alone though. Although in 9 years I have never met another awakened being in person. At first it was ok b/c I was on an awakened high. Then it all became quite lonely. There were several different stages that I went through. In a nut shell it is difficult. Living in a world where everything is so beautiful now. But society and other people make absolutely no sense to me anymore. Also I believe in Tolle’s pain body theory. When I woke up. The ego/ or pain body proceeded to take everything from me. Starting with the wife, the job, the house, then eventually the kids. At each loss it captured my attention again for a few months at a time. Then I snap out of it.

        Loneliness is manageable at times. And is far better than slipping back into the dream. Although I think as a species and as consciousness. We weren’t meant to be alone. So there is a desire for someone to talk to who understands. It is one of the last remaining desires. All others have faded away.

      • Lynn Holbrook
        |

        Hi Ross, I’m a Christian and had a purely spiritual awakening-“born again” 26 years ago at age 30. I commited myself to sanctification but kept hitting that wall that St. Paul talks about when he said he did the things he didn’t want to do and didn’t do the things he wanted. As a result of controlling, abusive, narcissistic parenting, I was deeply codependent, immersed in denial and fantasy. My subconscious beliefs about myself-unloveable, unworthy and my immobilized sense of self efficacy-were at odds with my conscious mind goals.
        My husband of twenty-one years left me and my two sons with no concern to our welfare (despite following him around the world during his 20 years in the military-another abusive situation) and I’ve been stalked by a person for the last 13 years (police reports, speeding cars, wiretapping and all).
        Despite the bloody carnage that was my life up to that point, it took the death of my youngest son two years ago to find me clawing on my hands and knees for understanding and a way out of this pain and to some semblance of the promise of heaven on earth that Jesus’ promises.
        Up to my son’s death, I thought I just wasn’t strong or lucky enough. I never gave any thought-although I did phrase the feeling as this- to the fact that my conscious mind was the gas pedal to the floor , but my subconscious mind’s commandments of not loveable, not worthy and not calable of doing or defending myelf were the brake pedal to the floor that neutralized any forward gain
        Once I changed my core beliefs-hard work-to align with my view of myself as a child of God, I had to clear the somatic, felt senses in my body of all that dark, false intelligence held in the cells of my body. Finally, I am at the point now where I am marshalling spirit, soul (mind, will and emotions) and body and emerging from my self-isolation and into the world again.
        All this to say, I believe a comprehensive awakening of the spirit, the conscious mind and the subconscious mind must take place before we can begin to walk the golden path in the sense we envision being the result of awakening.
        You stated you wanted to feel that enlightenment continue and flourish, but you had to give way to the demands of a family, the job… I would respectfully ask you to consider that 1) you hold subconscious beliefs that are at odds with your conscious goals and as a result 2) during the past 40 years you unconsciously ‘reacted” and made choices based on subconscious beliefs rather than “acting” and making conscious choices.
        God bless you. Peace, Lynn

      • Teresa
        |

        Life After Awakening…It was when the seeker ceased seeking that the real fun began. I say that in, I could never have imagined what had followed. Reality will stop at nothing to bring about the surrender to the resistance to life and I mean all of it. You don’t have to do a thing, life will take care of it all, just as it always has.

        I acknowledge the loneliness that is spoken about in the post I am replying to and invite anyone to question with “What is good about this loneliness?” It is a gift, I assure you.

        Reality is here to have a human experience and when it’s ready you will find your self jumping in with both feet and welcoming all that is. It was that intense loneliness that awakened me to eventually answer the call and say YES. (not that I had a choice) : )

    • Ross
      | Reply

      Hi Ross,
      I found this site while doing a search for “spiritual growth after spiritual awakening” lol. I had multiple short awakening experiences over the years and then one day at 50 years old I woke up and stayed awake long enough to find out what happened. I immediately began to read everything I could about enlightenment, spiritual awakening, ego, non identification and everything else I could find to help me understand what happened. This shift in perception followed letting go of every preconceived idea and judgement my mind had about everything which allowed the truth to enter my consciousness like finding the answer to a tough math problem (or remembering it’s your anniversary on the way home from work). I believe that’s why Jesus said to experience the kingdom you have to be like a child. A child experiences the world in the present moment.

      Here I am 5 years later trying to come to grips with the fact that I am now awake but no longer squinting from the bright light of the initial change in consciousness. I’m still in the process of realizing that this new state should not be about searching for the bliss of the initial awakening but about being present in every moment. What you experienced was your true self freed for a time from the misguided belief that you are a person named Ross Hostetter. This is known as remembering yourself and you can only remember yourself when your consciousness is in the present moment. There are many ways to work on becoming conscious of this realization and they all involve struggling against your minds repetitive thought patterns (desire, negative emotion, judgement, blame…) that keep you imprisoned in the lower state. We are unconscious of our true self while our minds dwell in the past or the future. You did not “have an experience” you became conscious of who you always are.

      Peace and Love

  22. Adriana
    | Reply

    Hello everyone,
    Im really new to this thing of posting on a blog to people I don´t know. But it´s really hard to go through this experience of being awake surrounded of people who you know they won´t understand what you are talking about if you try to explain them.
    I had my experience of waking up 3 years ago now and it was really beautiful in that moment…but after that it hasn´t been that easy. I actually had to go to the therapist which helped me a lot, but it got so bad that I was having panic attacks number of times a day..I thought I was going crazy, I felt “too awake” that I thought I was going to loose control..After controling it a little bit a started feeling this experience everyone in here is talking about, feeling connected with the world and feeling this bliss..but it got so scary and I think unconsciously I pull myself away from this experience and made myself busy with life and it felt like I got myself back to sleep again. Recently I felt like I have woken up again and I remember now how important this is for my soul, but Im really scared thinking that I donñt know how to control my head, Im constantly feeling I will go crazy if Im too aware of my surrounding. Every time this happens I just tell the person next to me that I am having a panic attack, I don´t know how else to explain to them…so I´m coming to you guys, anyone there who can tell me how to live this new life and not being so scared all the time? I sometimes feel how easier was before 🙁

    • jeff777
      | Reply

      you may like to surrender to everything, go inside yourself and be in the peace of connection with everything, nobody can do this thing for you. It is only a decision away. you are safe. 🙂

    • chris
      | Reply

      Hey Jeff,
      i can tell one thing that may help you,it works for me.
      Our world today is not what it’s supposed to be when we where created as Souls.A Soul needs love,perfection,beauty,soul is holy because it is from GOD.So being “too” aware all the time will not help you and will lead you to panic because nothing in our surrounding is good.Its normal.
      For me i can control my awareness level,so in such situations i don’t get deeply into my surroundings or in any conversation, i shut down my awareness and keep taking, seeing and listening only from the surface.So try to remember not to go deeply.

      I use my full awareness for example if i am laying down on the beach watching the sunset, the surrounding is totally safe to let go of myself and attach with the universe because everything is perfect.I do this also (now because i am a bit more experienced in controlling my thoughts), i do it any place where i am curious to learn something from it that can help me build myself.For example last night i went with a couple of friends on the beach at night and there was a party there. I am not into loud music at all.So i sat down and i used my awareness and i started observing everyone.And this was scary, i was able to feel every person by just looking at them, and i was sure, inside myself,that even most of them looks like they are having fun, i can assure you that those people were suffering,i felt like they are lost.
      When you experience awakening, you develop something called emphasis and this will let you absorb others emotions and its not healthy at all,that’s why you need to control it.Read about it and good luck.

      • chris
        |

        I am sorry, the above comment was for Adriana 🙂

    • diviviena
      | Reply

      Adriana, I know how you feel. The fear that you feel is your ego trying to take back control, because it knows that it is dying. It actually feels like dying. And just when you feel that your life slips away, that there is no turning back, just when you let it happen – let all the concept of yourself to slip away, only then your ego is conquered. Fear stems from the control of the ego. You are fighting with it. No that’s not correct. Your ego is fighting with you because it wants to stay alive and be in control.

    • Kris Augustynski
      | Reply

      Waking up from the illusion of self hasn’t been much of a tricky experience here. Adya’s teachings, beginning with “end of your world”, where awakening came about rather surprisingly and unexpectedly, followed by “true meditation”, then “resurrecting Jesus”, have all given a shining type of clarity and ease to seeing what happens when absolutely everything is allowed to be exactly as it is, and really effectively investigating what am I really.

      It’s only been a few months, but already the experience is beyond words in its brilliance. There’s a drawing to a noticing and an innocent curiosity that is still fresh and just plain magical.

    • Michel Zuider
      | Reply

      Adriana,

      How are things now?

    • Mikael Roussel
      | Reply

      Hei guys, it feels so lovely knowing that I am not alone! I have had an awakening for about 5 month ago, and since then fear and anxiety have really taken over, so many questions about what should I do now? Should I leave everyone I care for and my job, become a munk. But the more I relax into it the more I see that the decision is mine. I loved how Adya said that the “normal ” life is magnificent enough, because this is what I want. I want to marry my twin flame (who has brought such tremendous help and support) I want to live a life a giving, and sharing!! I would love to get in touch with you guys!! My mail is mikaelbirger@gmail.com, please do take contact if you whish to!! I love you all endlessly!!

  23. KylePivarnik
    | Reply

    Hi everyone,

    I wanted to let you know that Sounds True has launched a new weekly teaching series from Adyashanti! You can signup here: http://bit.ly/1sS6vbe

    • Haneef k.m.
      | Reply

      Those who are lost read buddha and join share intl

  24. Tammy
    | Reply

    Thanks for the great page. I had my “we are one” moment, two yrs ago and have been on a miraculous, wonderful, amazing, devastating, and painful journey ever since. Like most of you, I’ve experienced things in the journey that were mind blowing. Currently however, I’m experiencing such a horrible twist that I wonder if I’m borderline! It makes me wonder if I imagined the last two yrs. I know that I didn’t of course, but I’m having a really hard time finding my way back. Has anyone else experienced many months of shutting out the world and spending every available minute in study, prayer, and meditation for the sake of the journey? I did that, because it seemed like the most important thing I could do for myself. But now during this horrible low, I find that everyone I knew is gone, and I’m friendless and without connection to family. So, if anyone else is going through this, you’re not alone.

    • Bill
      | Reply

      Hi Tammy, I feel actually the same as you describe. I am alone now and find it very difficult to relate to family. I am from USA but moved to Thailand almost two years ago. I sure would like to talk to you and see what you think.

    • Bea
      | Reply

      Hey Tammy, thank you for the post. Wow! I am pretty much on a very similar track to yours! I’m so surprised by your post that I can hardly believe your words. Since my awakening I myself dedicated every free moment to Silence and exploration and Adyashanti’s teaching. I’ve lived through so much terror I can barely describe. I’ve also had most amazing things happen in harmony with all the Universe while terror would stay at the back. But now again I am in so much terror that I wonder how to simply live my life as my health is deteriorating. My Kundalini is like a brutal jet fuel surging and burning everything and I question myself like you. It would be nice to get in touch with you 🙂

    • pixiedust0327
      | Reply

      Tammy, I felt the same way a few years back. I felt like I was so close to enlightenment and I was truly feeling and sensing the world and all its living things around me and through me. I nearly crossed over to astral projection a few times on meditation, but got scared and woke myself back up to consciousness. Then I met who I thought to me my twin flame – but he ended up being a negative energy of all my radiant qualities. He was spiritual and seemed to be more connected to Divine and Spirit than I was. I thought we were going to do amazing things, he as my teacher to a gateway of subconsciousness and me a helping body of light to alleviate the suffering he experienced in this world. I learned now that he was a false twin, sort of a last karmic soul experience I had to go through to realize I was one with myself and all creation, and I did not need a teacher to find it. He was all my negative energy reflected back at me, what I could be, had I been nothing but shadow. Once I finally recognized the mental and emotional abuse he (or rather, ME as HIM) was putting me through, I got out of the situation. But I couldn’t get back to that place of awakening I had experienced on numerous occasions before I met him. In fact, I was in the city of Sin – Las Vegas – when my true mirror soul happened to collide with me. Call it divine timing! I was ready to give up, not believe in the beauty of Oneness and start calling it some stupid “hippie new-age crap that wasn’t real” when I peered into the eyes of my soul, and in that moment, I was reminded that I was not alone. There were other things that happened the past few months leading up to that point, but the instant recognition of myself in the body of another caused me to have a profound realization that we are not alone. And if you are feeling lonely, then maybe it is getting closer to the time when you will find that one other vibrational soul that is a mirror image of your own, who will help awaken you as you help awaken them, as you are but the same. And in that moment you will never feel alone again, and you will be able to connect to the Divine Energy whenever you please and be reminded that we are all nothing more than Love, if we would shed our Ego’s and allow ourselves to be what we are, myself in Radiant Light Energy. I don’t know if that is helpful… just my experience and had I not gone through it, I would never have believed it. As she says, “It’s nothing like what i expected. And I thought I had experienced it before.” But the profound experience that sticks, for me, didn’t actually hit me until I really did recognize my own soul in the eyes of my polar opposite; my mirror soul reflecting right back at me. I hope you all experience this moment, because I am all of you and I am calling you home.

    • melissa
      | Reply

      Tammy and Bill, you are not alone. I have been looking for my brothers and sisters. I would love to share with both of you.

      • Miche
        |

        Tammy, Bill, and Melissa

        Tammy’s post echoes exactly what the last couple of years have been like for me. Nowadays I feel lost, lonely and confused.. I can’t seem to relate to people, struggle staying in jobs because the work seems meaningless and the environments feel toxic (competitive, cold). It would be nice to have people to share/connect with.
        How do you guys manage day-to-day life/work?

      • Britney
        |

        Miche, that is how i feel as well. I am ever so grateful to have a job that pays me decent money so i can care for my daughter, but i just cant help but feel that this life style is not life. I have a full time job, but the energy and structured routine behind it all causes me anxiety. Don’t get me wrong, i love being a hard worker, you must always to get what you want. I just feel like im stuck in a hamster wheel. I dont feel like i belong here. Unfortunately, the way the world (or at least the silicon valley) has been conditioned, its a bit harder to make the moves you want without being late on your bills.

  25. Henrik Skov
    | Reply

    I forgot to mention, that I for the last 16 years have been into Tibetan buddhism, which metods I have practiced.
    I couldn`t help notice, that I am the only one reveiling my name here. What we found can not be hidden. It is the foundation for the new human reality, and should be spread among whoever want to receive it. The internet has help a lot.

    • Found the other half of my soul
      | Reply

      Enjoying enlightenment for lots of reasons. Mostly because I was destined to find my twinflame during my awakening, at the early age of 19. We have an amazing life unfolding here,( even if most of my plans are made for our carnation together). Still have a way to go as I can’t fathom peoples ignorance. I know, it’s not thier fault that they have no idea what’s going on. But I guess tolerance is an area I need to strengthen. Disappointed to admit that I smerk at people making stupid decisions about their own character. Also finding myself a little too excited about the idea of moving on, especially as far as my twinflame is concerned. Calm down, slow down, take a breath, and make a continuous decision to make a difference. Not gonna lie, very overwhelming…

      • pixiedust0327
        |

        Remember that anything you see in them is a reflection of where that piece of your Divine Soul is currently at. It is not “them” but “you” in a different time. You must have experienced similar lives in the past and obviously became aware at a young age. But don’t discredit them. Because they are YOU. And when you realize that I am you, then there is nothing but love for the journey that I am on in each and every one of you. And that is the true moment of awakening. Opening our eyes to the Matrix of 3D reality isn’t the same as finding Oneness in ourselves and everyone. The fact that I am unable to see my reflection in those “ignorant” souls makes me realize that I have yet more work to do on myself in the soul that is “Found the other half of my soul.” True awakening does not smirk or fathom ignorance. It is nothing but love because it is unconditional and understanding of all things and all beings. I hope I awaken in the soul you live in now, so that I may bring light to you and all those you currently “see” as separate from me.

  26. Henrik Skov
    | Reply

    Hi out there all you beautiful people. We need to meet or I need to meet you. Just for a now or two if it is possible somewhere in relative time and geografical location. I`m Henrik from Denmark, 54 years old, and have for the past two months been transforming in a ongoing proces to get align with universe, all universes and unlimited timeless space it self. A proces without imagining, a proces totally apart from my current lifesituation in familylife, three kids, work and relative reality. It has been difficult at times but mostly amazing, joyfull and passionate. Universe or space provide me with unending teachings, love and joy, and all is within my mind. For my wife is has been very strange, and she have had no chance to comprehend what I am going through, Ever I can´t find the words for it. But I tell you; Family is the most effective grounding force, and I have adjusted, so that I get the best from both worlds. And this is thruly blissfull. My detachment from the illusionery dream, has providede me with such a clarity, which I bring into everyday situation, at home and at work. Everybody is growing, is happier and feel more freedom. It a joy passing it on.
    I tell you out there somewhere; if you got it, you should take it in and let go of interlectual understanding, mixed feelings and fear, and let it unfold in your mind. I seriously mean, that we ought to meet each other if possible, and share what we have enters into, just to calm and celebrate the new human reality of infinite freedom. Thanks for all you posted. I have enjoyed it very most, but also get sad in my Heart to hear of some of you having trouble finding balance. We should help each other. It is truely bliis and joy. Never ever ending love in the purest form. This is what I liked to share with you, and thanks Adyashanti for the written book, which I have bought, and I am looking foreward to get it by mail.
    All my love to you out there.

    • melissa
      | Reply

      Henrik, hello my beautiful brother. So glad to have find someplace to see my sisters and brothers. I am so happy, full of joy.

  27. DS
    | Reply

    I had my awakening after I got my bachelor’s degree and for the first time in years had NOTHING to do. Interesting story really:). Had a religion class on my last semester in college which was part of my required courses. I always hated religion and felt like it was causing pain and misery in the world and this was not different. I read all the books but one, wrote all the papers, just to graduate and forget about it. A week after graduation I had this feeling that there is nothing to do anymore and I was over with school forever, however there was this one unread book from the religion class, that I hated, and tried to avoid at all cost.

    I tried to find something to do and even started to look for work but this book would keep coming back into my mind like I was supposed to read it now, not before not later but just about NOW. I couldn’t concentrate on anything else for more than a few minutes until I finally said to myself that I am just going to read it and forget about it so it does not bother me anymore. I read about half of it and stopped. The author was telling about connectedness of everything and for some reason I just felt like checking this hypothesis.

    I looked outside my window with an intention to see this connectedness and for a split moment my eye caught a tree and I felt its energy and its essence being identical to mine, in the next moment after that I felt all thing are identical to me, the next moment I realized it is all identical however all different at the same time and there was no paradox as if its the way things should be. I felt like god was in me and I was in god and I was god but not in a personal kind of way which one sees himself as god but in a way that everything is god and everything is one. The next moment brought a feeling that everything is everything and nothing at the same time and suddenly I felt that what I always thought to be true was false. I suddenly saw my identity shifts from the me and I was witnessing myself from the side as if I was no longer this body or mind or emotions but just that witnessing presence. The room was filled with light even though the windows had a heavy covering and there was a sound in my head which sounded like waves breaking on the shore without ever stopping.

    After a few more minutes the sound became a little to much and I wished for it to stop and it did quite quickly. I had a true shift in identity and I knew this was some kind of end and a beginning of something else but I never heard of spiritual awakening and never even knew what spirituality was before that. I was wondering what had happened to me and how will this affect me. The next few years were very interesting as I slowly started to notice things about myself and others that I have not noticed before. Every time someone was jealous, sad, happy, mad, you name it, I saw it as if I was witnessing a car passing by. The car was hitting people and they become what they felt and even when I still felt the emotion or had the thought it was as if it presented itself to me and I felt like “wow, look at that anger arising in myself but it is not myself and its just passing through” so the anger came and left and I had none of the feeling left as if the person never did anything to me, in fact, I felt even closer to that person, more intimate like he or she just showed me what is anger and how it is no longer me…

    This is still going on, however on a smaller scale as it became a natural way of being and viewing the world and people around me. At times I do feel like I am almost done here and I am about to die which I have become very ok with btw since everything in reality is eternal. I do not feel like there is anything else for me to do and quite frankly I don’t want anything anymore. I remember myself in younger age wanting stuff all the time, I wanted money and girls to like me, I wanted to be successful, I wanted to be popular and good in sports and in a way I have achieved some of it to an extent but I simply don’t care about anything anymore. I do enjoy listening to spiritual talks once in a while and I enjoy every single thing I come across as it resonates with pure creation and light (even the dark things) but I often don’t see the point in the unfolding of this whole thing as if I am getting to know myself from different points every day anew… enjoy the ride I guess. Just felt like sharing my story, it is ultimately very personal for everyone and you can feel all I have described or nothing of it and everything in between, while there can be infinite realizations and forms of the same one reality which is all one at the core.

    Namaste Friends!

    • Johanna
      | Reply

      Beautiful–thank you!

    • Scott K
      | Reply

      DS – this was a few years ago for you but I wanted you to know that I am in the same stage now. It’s been about 4 years since my awakening and the first 3 weeks were total bliss, followed by a year of complete amazement and clarity. Since then, I’ve tried to return through meditation and reading but feel the connection slipping somewhat. Luckily I was able to fully integrate my awakening with my family and work life and not lose my family or children, and am as busy as family life can provide.

      However, I’ve felt recently like you a sense of completion. Where I used to have a forceful business drive, it is gone. My passions for travel and experience have faded as well. Before my awakening, I was sometimes depressed, but this is different. There’s no pain or brief thoughts of suicide but just a feeling that there’s no more to be done.

      I feel like I’m in a waiting room. I know I don’t want to suffer with my ego as before, and I’m thankful for this gift of peace and understanding, but I miss some of the highs and lows of worldly experience.

      I continue reading, meditating and staying present, hopeful that the path forward will soon reveal itself.

  28. S BELL
    | Reply

    mine started 5 months ago after my Tommy kneesox crossed over- not mild but powerful… and now constant for lack of the correct terms updates…. why did this not happen after my mom or dad died- why did it not happen after my fiance died- why didnt it happen when i was in a horrible car accident- when my tomm crossed over my sixth sense went into over drive than this awakening happened.

  29. chris
    | Reply

    I’m very glad to come across this article. Last year I had experienced a nonduel awakening after a tramatic event. I started to get into trasdential meditations. After some time I woke up to a reality beyond myself. I could not tell myself from anything around myself, the entire framework of existence had collapsed around and inside. It is funny that I say I, but it wasn’t I as the separate I, but it was as adya states, contiousness that awoke to itself. This lasted about two months in physical time, but from the medephysical, time was eternal, never beginning and never ending. Although there was this knowing, and still is deep down, the last year since has been the hardest experience ever. Although this experience has happened, I’ve been all sorts of distressed spiritually homesick. This gives hope to know that this experience of waking up, then like adya states the shutter closes. It helps in not feeling alone even if we have awoke before, or are awakening for the first time, that no one is alone in this struggle, in this process of awakening to the highest state we can find ourselves in. I will honestly say I haven’t felt all that well, and been feeling off more than ever, disoriented upset with myself and God. and it is very hard not to give into temptation, or admit that I haven’t, because I have, and do find myself slip all the time. It’s been hard to get out of a rut of self spiritual harm, and constantly wanting to off myself. I pray that whoever we are, and whatever spiritual battles each of us are facing in our own lives, that we find peace in them and are all able to overcome, no matter what walk of life we are from, that we can all accept ourselves and others more, and love deeper in the rough periods of life.

    • Steve
      | Reply

      Read Jed McKenna’s Spiritual Enlightnement, the Damnedest Thing, it will help you understand the difference between a Unity Consciousness moment of awakening which it sounds like you have had and actual Truth Realization (Enlightenment) which is something else altogether. I was in the same place you are in, this book pulled me out of it.

      • chris
        |

        thank you, i will. i still feel very confused, and not myself. last night i was thinking about it, and the way i feel, the things i am going through, i feel like i am reliving another person’s life. i experience memories, relationships with people that were once part of this person’s past, but there isn’t really any emotional connection, good or bad to memories. its like ive always known these people places and things, but im unfamiliar with them at the same time, its a void of emotion at times, but somehow i am with it, and its like i have to act until i can find some balance in all of this. like i don’t want to be in this body, or with these people, but its like i feel a responsibility to. but ultimately i just want to go home, be home. i wish i felt suicide or something like that was the answer, but there is a strong fear that the soul through something like that will only find itself back in a similar state in the next life, next body. idk if i am posessed or if i am keeping others from finding peace. i love everyone and respect them because they are all beings trying to live, find joy and love in life, but its like i just don’t belong with them at all. i find myself constantly frustraited with others in situations, but its not so much me mad at them, but frustraited that idk how to be in any situation without this deep feeling of being out of place in it and not really knowing what i should make of it, good or bad. its like i am there, but not able to act in any certain manner, or trust my own feelings, views of the situation, so i feel like i shut down into automatic mode. with a blankness to my character. not sure if this is narsisism, or what it is. i mean i care for others, but idk how to read them, or myself. i want to do everything in grace so that no one is ever harmed emotionally, spiritually, and it isn’t really that i care if they stick around, as long as while i am with them around them, that i am respecting them fully, but to be honest idk if i am.
        i am fighting so hard to be the light because it matters not only for me, but for everyone.

      • Lesley
        |

        Chris, I feel your pain. Your words summed up exactly what I too am going through. So where does it all lead to? Have you found any insight?

      • chris
        |

        First off, i would like to wish everyone a blessed holiday season, hope god is helping so many of us through our troubles, and that the spirit is touching those of us in termoil. i came back to this site today after almost two years after my fisrt spiritual awakening experience a few years back, finding myself again in a spiritual rutt not knowing what to do, i asked for guidence from the inner self, from spiritual guides to help me out of whatever darkness i had found myself in this time, and finding myself struggeling and fumbelling to make words, sense of everything i had experienced, and experience now. life has been very difficult to get back to in this physical form, with all the war, disease, polotics, every day tasks and moments of living. it is upon this understanding, realization that in these times, that it is important to remember what our guides, teachers have taught us when facing spiritual warfairs within ourselves and others, is to battle our demons with love, kindness, compassion. life for the past two years has been extremely difficult as now i see all beings as the light, but somehow finding myself not being able to be a part of the light which has brought me here. it is in this that i have found solidarity, compassion to be more compassionate to myself and others, to help guide, to be guided back to the light. one major issue i have found what some call the dark knight of the soul is forgetting that all things work in the light, are made up of the light. one thing i have come to remember in this time are the presepts for myself, although of Christian faith, i also am extremely familiar with Buddhist faith and doctrin, so i am going to post this with that in mind, and although i do not belong to other faiths, i have come to understand that each one has their own version of these teachings within their texts. in Christianity i would say that these are the commandments. whatever faith bassed religion one belogs to, they all seem to teach the same principles, so here we go, in hopes that we all find that light we are searching for in life.

        1. I undertake the training rule to abstain from killing. Pāṇātipātā veramaṇī sikkhāpadaṃ samādiyāmi.
        2. I undertake the training rule to abstain from taking what is not given. Adinnādānā veramaṇī sikkhāpadaṃ samādiyāmi.
        3. I undertake the training rule to avoid sexual misconduct. Kāmesumicchācāra veramaṇī sikkhāpadaṃ samādiyāmi.
        4. I undertake the training rule to abstain from false speech. Musāvādā veramaṇī sikkhāpadaṃ samādiyāmi.
        5. I undertake the training rule to abstain from fermented drink that causes heedlessness. Surāmerayamajjapamādaṭṭhānā veramaṇī sikkhāpadaṃ samādiyāmi.[8]

        today i take on the task of keeping to these teachings, and finding that light within it all, amen and Blessed Holidays to ALL

  30. Shay
    | Reply

    I had an awakening in 2007, and it has changed my life in greater and positive ways. When I say awakening I mean also being able to communicate with Spirit and others . I work with people as a Social Worker, so it has brought a greater insite to me and in more human ways I can share the loving wisdom with others in simpler ways so love of God can also bring faith and hope into the lives of others. (but, you have to do this in very humble and gentle ways, so they don’t think you are crazy or strange) .. However, I can say that it has not been an easy journey, trying to please your own desires of spirituality and to live in an average human life, while working, caring for family-home, etc… But, it has been a blessing. I do understand that it is just not an awakening, but one constantly has to further their own self and seek to receive.

    For those people who had a spiritual awakening of the soul, I recommend working with people where it allows you to pass on the loving feeling and greater wisdom towards helping humanity and people around you. I can’t imagine going thru this and working in an office by myself all day and not sharing with people to help other children of God.

    I am still and will probably be in the development / unfolding of this awakening until I leave this earth, I realize this. But, everyone who feels a sense of awakening, truly should somehow find an outlet to help humanity, in small or big ways, in order for Spirit / God to use you as a tool on earth. God works thru people on earth also.

    May we all be blessed and cared for, so we can continue to give this to others.

    • Geraldine Banks
      | Reply

      Hi..I would LOVE to chat with you..as u mentioned God works through people..and just from reading your message, I felt a strong connection where I feel as though there is very few people like you and II left in the world in these days and ages..and I have been in my awakening since 2009(started)& in my transitioning since then I have lost or excluded many people out of my life and now I feel alone because it seems as though EVERYONE around me is in the dark..so Im starting to feel like an outcast and is always under attack…so if you can find in your heart,soul and or time please if you’re comfortable enough..Please feel free to contact me via email banksgeraldine1@gmail.com

  31. bash
    | Reply

    I feel I can handle the changes, except the exhaustion. So tired.Where is it all going?

    • caterpiller
      | Reply

      I am constantly fatigued as well because of this – have you found anything that helps?

  32. Sarah Herbots
    | Reply

    I acknowledge and respect the efforts made over here to provide some guidance for people after waking up. But i do feel like there’s an important element missing in this guidance. Before I start off with my ‘critical perspective’, i do however realise that every awakening is a very individual and personal experience, which is highly coloured by your own circumstances. There are various possibilities for an “awakening” to take place, and it is not up to anybody else – not even the ones calling themselves ‘teachers’ here – to judge upon the degree of “authenticity” when it comes to the personal experience of another human being. As opposed to what we’ve always learned, not everything is this life is measurable, and that goes especially for this “awakening”-experience! What I have learned myself, is that this awakening is pushing your mind to transcend duality, and the continuous need to define and judge your own experiences. By only focussing on the “One consciousness” or “the pure being experience”, i feel you’re not fully honouring the truth of who we are. There is an intelligence in this One Consciousness, the “chi”, the force that keeps everything together….it is a sense of unconditional love, where one would love to drift in until your very last breath.Let’s not treat this energy as if it is functioning the way we are! If the only goal was for us to lose all sense of self and completely align with this unity-consciousness, it would be a bit of a retarded energy to first go through all the trouble of creating separate individual beings, only to make us “realise” there is no self at all! On the contrary: the challenge in this journey – according to me – is to allow yourself an experience in which you don’t need to choose! Chosing is losing… Be open to the possibility that reality allows both individuality ánd collectivity to coexist. We are all little miracles, created separately with our own beautiful talents and gifts, often dreams which we have given up during our childhood. When you seriously take the time to look back on your own life history, you will find several dots lighting up, which now can easily be connected, as a route that was destined to lead you to where you have arrived now. It is very much an awakening to the miracle of who YOU are as in individual, and a call to realise your own sovereignty over your own being, which has essentially been given to you at birth. In fact, an important aspect of this journey is the very process of “individuation”: one wakes up to the unconscious or hidden/repressed parts of the self, and during that journey, one may feel an increased need to spend more “alone-time”, to really get to know the self, and to be away from other people for a while.I believe this applies especially to those of us who have never really created any boundaries between the self and the collective: people who have always given unconditionally, but never learned to receive…. For these people, it is essential to understand that this awakening is teaching you to develop an inner sense of unconditional love for every aspect of yourself, and to awaken a good sense of confidence and love from within. You will come to realise that saying “yes” only to please other people – even when you don’t really feel like you should accept the thing they ask from you – has no value of itself. Every action in life should be done with a full sense of willingness and intent, otherwise there is no “greater” energy behind your action, and that doesn’t serve you nor the other person. In this sense, you will be tested on your inner integrity: are you living what you truely feel inside? Unconditonal love cannot be defined as “giving yourself away until you’re depleted”…if there are people in your life who are draining you from your good vibrations, you will be pushed to balance those relationships in a way that allows you to feel more balanced. That may very well mean that you want to put them out of your life for a while. And in doing that, you will learn that you’re not doing anything wrong, on the contrary: you are participating in their own journey, in which they as well need to learn to build strong loving foundations from within. Things you would not tolerate to be done to others, are things you should not tolerate to be done to yourself either. So whenever you feel like chosing a more “selfish” option over an “uncontional love” one, then please don’t beat yourself up feeling guilty, for the only “right thing” to do, is for you to know. It is what makes you feel balanced within.You will notice that, after a given amount of time, this inner love for yourself – including the heaviness of the journey – will allow you once again to feel compassionate and understanding towards other people. You will recognise their pain because you’ve been there yourself. In this way, the individual consciousness can perfectly coexist with the collective consciousness, as it is meant to be. The practice of learning to “express yourself” from your authentic centre is also very important in this process. You will not want to hurt people by turning them down (as you feel the rejection the way they feel it), so you will develop a new way of communicating and explaining your choices, in a way that the other person understands where you’re coming from, which resolves the need for guilt or rejection to even occur… It will require a new sense of pure honesty, which is very very difficult in the beginning, and you will feel vulnerable and insecure to express yourself in such way. Nevertheless, you will find that people truely understand you when you’re being completely honest. The nature of relationships simply changes into a much richer and purer experience, in which there is essentially no need for “white lies” or “half truths”. You will learn to appreciate yourself, even when you’re in tears during a conversation with someone else, and you will come to find that the experience of FEELING those emotions, is what makes you come alive and makes you feel more human again, and that there should never be any sense of shame for showing how you truely feel, even when it is not displayed in a happy smile or a duckface. You will become more gentle and wiser, and patient, towards yourself and towards others. And to end up with: you will find it is not a process that has a certain “end”…it is a journey that will continue to last for the rest of your life, and by developing your own intuition, you will learn how to communicate with the One Consciousness, and trust that guidance as your inner kompass, that will always show you the way, it teaches you that it is okay to trust yourself, and that you don’t need any confirmation from any other source outside of yourself, to validate your own choices. By loving and embracing all that you are, even the “shadow” that you’d rather not face, you will learn the massive POWER of love, and see life as a miracle that can only exist in seasonal cycles: there is no “everlasting bright light”: life presents you with disappointment, failure, mistakes and pain, not as a punishment, or because you did something “wrong”, or because you have “bad karma”…. but simply to provide you with all the seasons we encounter in life as a human being, which always offers new possibilities for inner growth. Accepting the nature of life, its darkness and its light, its tears and its laughter, its winter and its summer, without needing to change that nature, was – to me at least – the essence of the experience. But once again: this can be very different for every single person, and I believe that is how it is meant to be. If it is a broken heart that is causing your suffering, you will observe yourself while you are begging and waiting for that awful pain to go away… because we’ve been conditioned to believe that we can or even MUST un-love a person who has hurt us… The truth is: it is impossible to “un-love” someone you once loved. You cannot force your heart to unfeel what it feels, your heart is not to be directed by your mind. 🙂 Instead, try to see the beauty of yourself for being able to love despite the hurt you’ve been through, don’t see it as a weakness, but acknowledge the strength it really is. And above all: just accept that sometimes suffering needs time and patience to fade away, and that it invites us to nurture our broken hearts and sit with that pain, for it is an essential part of who you are. And it will NOT kill you, you will not need to be hospitalized or end up lost. Everything you experience, is a part of you, it is not out to get you, it just wants to be heard…talk to yourself when you’re alone, learn to be comfy with yourself.

    • cheryl
      | Reply

      Wow. That was beautiful. I would love to read more. Thanks so much.

    • Russell
      | Reply

      Sarah… Thank you for sharing this. You have no idea how on point this was for me. Thank you.
      The article & comments I’ve read here are amazing and helps “re-center” my perspective.

    • Zsofia
      | Reply

      WOW, I am speechless and breathless. THANK YOU so much for writing it.

  33. Adrian
    | Reply

    After 3 years of continuing down the After Awakening path, I’ve had enough experiences now to expect that what teachers like Adya, Mooji, Gangaji, Eckart Tolley, etc.. are all trying to explain is true. Unfortunately, the mind has very little concept of this, it thinks it knows but it doesn’t really, and it seems most of us have to “experience” such things to “get it”. I am now a believer in that there is nothing we need to or must do, nothing that needs to be controlled, figured out for our survival, that there is only THAT (Oneness/consciousness/God, etc..) which constitutes the entire universe, known and unknown. As humans, we are both one with THAT and separate from it in this illusionary duality form. I see that our purpose here is to simply become “aware” and experience THAT through this life, and that is all. Adyashanti and others we’re great for comforting the anxiety, and in retrospect are great reassurances, so that I could deepen my mind’s trust in, rest its fears, and belief in the process of deeper levels of the letting-go of the control that the mind believes is necessary to have to survive. A difficult and extreme process to say the least, it still is as I travel this road. But, it’s also amazingly beautiful, often terrifying, and often unbelievable to ourselves and most others, yet it all feels right, as it must, for us to put ourselves through such extremes and to keep pushing forward. LOL 🙂

    Tools I’ve found helpful:
    Acupuncture for grounding if the shaking/buzzing energy gets to be too much for the body or mind to handle.
    Breathwork for releasing any and all stuck energy, mental or physical. It takes you out of the mental constructs of possibilities and story lines, allowing us profound insights and deeper experiences of the true reality (seemingly experienced slightly different by each), after a true awakening experience, healings and processing of old patterns seem to happen much quicker if you let the emotions flow freely and let the body move in all the unusual ways it wants to during a breathwork session!!! 🙂
    Learn how to fully surrender/let-go. (basically getting the mind completely out of the way for spirit/source/god to move the body and emotions in any way it sees fit – IMO, its the quickest way to progress).
    Ecstatic (free form) Dance: this gives us the space and time to physically shake loose the stuck energy/emotions without thinking having to think (guess) about it. A great practice to reset ourselves in our natural states: freedom from tension, fear, anxiety. Peace. Stillness. a quiet mind. etc…
    Be well….
    Adrian

    • Russell
      | Reply

      Adrian, I think these are great tips. I definitely need to include more dancing.

  34. Robert
    | Reply

    Thank you for posting this article. I think it is very important to let people who are going through the process know what to expect. The more difficult part is the dark night of the soul. For me this happened after the euphoria that lasted for three months. WOW! What a shock!

    Two absolute extremes. From bliss to abyss. From being totally in love with my creator, to being totally disconnected from her. From seeing things clearly, to there being no point to anything.

    One year down the track, and thankfully, I have reached a level in which I can operate ‘normally’ on a day to day basis. That is, I am not paralysed anymore.

    Extreme physical pain is debilitating,
    Extreme mental/emotional pain is debilitating, and,
    Extreme spiritual pain is debilitating.

    I can safely say that I have experienced all three levels of pain. They are all excruciatingly heavy.
    I can also say that I have experienced all three levels of bliss. Which brings me to the following question:

    Would I have known the bliss without having known the pain? (And/or vice-versa)

    I was a seeker for 20 years. It has brought me to this;
    I don’t care about reaching enlightenment anymore. I don’t care about happiness anymore, nor do I care about success or being admired. Somewhere in between the extremes I felt a deep sense of peace. I love peace.

    • Lynn Holbrook
      | Reply

      Hi Robert,

      Having experienced what you have, I believe there has to be a catalyst to enter the dark night-usually tragic as in my case, although that can be relative-and then once in, the only way out is through the attendant pain.

      The span of time between my “born again ” experience and my dark night of the soul was 20 years and the dark night, of which I am currently emerging, has taken a year.

      Although the contrast was shocking, I would say you are profounding blessed and must be in tune with your emotions and the signals you receive. You heard and heeded the call to take the journey to the other side-to know yourself fully in all your faults and all your glory. It’s done, and now you can grow and go from glory to glory.

      Up until my healing, I was totally in denial and living out my ideal life-which was anything but ideal but the point is I was trying-through fantasy as there had been so much abuse in my life I dissociated. I, in effect, had become my own abuser.

      When it happens is never comfortable, but I can attest to the living hell of not being spiritually and mentally conguent for years on end. You were and are blessed! Peace, Lynn 🙂

  35. Kathy
    | Reply

    I have been awakened and I love it! It not only changed my life but it radiates out to my loved ones and all that I have contact with. I disagree a ton in this article. I find it and the responses to be quite negative. I believe I am a work in progress and I refuse to look at this negatively. I am so very blessed and I a going to do great things.. Huge things..

    • Svetlana.
      | Reply

      I agree with you Kathy. I had my awakening 18 years ago and it was the best thing ever – peace, joy, love and acceptance for everyone and myself, understanding how simple our life is, feeling one with everything, but at the same time really knowing who I am for the first time. All this had incredible effect on everyone around me, I was like a magnet for people, I made many new friends, even the ones that disliked me in the past became very friendly. I really don’t understand how it is possible to feel depressed and confused, to struggle with your life and people when you are enlightened! With awakening comes incredible compassion for people and acceptance of any life situation, so negativity simply ceases to exist. I felt like the whole universe was supporting my new life and helping all my dreams come true. I wish everyone could feel like this one day, as it is really amazing!

  36. Matt
    | Reply

    Thank You All for Everything. I take comfort in knowing I’m not the only one. Thanks Everyone.

  37. Alexandra
    | Reply

    I don’t know what is happening to me.. I have always been a spiritual person but right now I am finding it hard to cope in every day life, i find it hard to continue with life responsibilities and I feel like I am going simply insane. I don’t know if I am having a spiritual awakening or if I am just going completely mental to the point where I need to be hospitalized. I have been meditating every single night, receiving hypnotherapy and I am due to have reiki on monday. I want to feel more grounded, I have an urge to wake up early every morning but I am overwhelmed by fear and anxiety with what is happening to me and I have diarrhea every morning and a complete loss of appetite. I have isolated myself and don’t want to be around anyone apart from the family who I live with… I am also due to have CBT therapy in a couple of weeks to help with my “irrational fears” I can’t work out if I am scared of death or life itself, please can someone shed some light on my situation? I have felt this bad for just over a week now although it has felt longer, I have also broke away from my current partney as he does not understand my situation and I can sense a lot of negativity around him.. I have a weird sense that i will die soon and I have an extreme phobia of committing suicide because I don’t want to die. Does this seem strange to anyone? Sometimes during the day i will feel completely happy and at peace with myself, then the fear kicks in which leads to panic attacks.

    • husky light
      | Reply

      Please believe me when I say you will come through it. I can’t tell you how long it will take, how much you have to go through, but eventually you will. In the meantime, rest as much as you need to, stop kicking and screaming and give in to what is happening, accept it is necessary and you are healing and will heal. You will never be given anything more than you can handle, even when you think you can’t handle it. Go with the flow as much as you can, know that spirit is completely protecting you at this time and although you feel alone you are not, you are surrounded by angels always. You are right that no one understands you and they think your loopy, that is fine. Stop trying to convince them otherwise, it makes you hurt more. If deep down you feel what I’m saying is right and you are in the middle of an awakening, then you know medication is simply not an option as your not ill in that way. When I went through it , the worst of it lasted around 3-6 months, in total it’s been a year, at least since I became aware of it although I’m sure it was happening prior to that too. You will get through no matter how dark it gets, you will begin to even out and the light will be there. Remember the light is already in you shining brightly and one day you will be able to let it shine xx

      • husky light
        |

        It’s akin to falling down the rabbit hole in Alice in Wonderland x everything becomes out of proportion.

      • Soul - 11:11 - Paradigm
        |

        the awaking seeds through the awakened friend i don’t sit around with some new found metacognition. zooming in and out of new scales of perception. 7 months of chaos. allows you to plant seeds. it takes nothing to conform to the crowd. and everything to stand alone. if your early your likely already familiar with standing alone and have a history of examples. if this is the case you have already developed the courage. anyway you can seed without anyone even knowing

      • Crystal
        |

        @husky light – OMG Thank you so much…. Its just what I needed to hear.. off late ive been feeling like a part of the wreckage after a ship wreck, being tossed around here and there..Just unable to surface.. Just feels so good to hear those words from a kindred soul ! Thank you o much…

    • Amanda
      | Reply

      Sounds like to me you need some time in nature. Away from everything. I felt lost and crazy at one point. I sold everything I owned. Packed up all my belongings and went hitch hiking for five years. It was the only thing that saved my sanity. The only time I ever truly was completely content and happy. I am not saying to go hitch hiking, but to get out of your comfort zone and do something you’ve always wanted to do. And do it alone. You’ll be amazed at the results. Good luck. I send my positive vibes and love. You’ll find what you’re looking for.

    • Josh Mason
      | Reply

      Hello Alexander, I lay desparate on the bed right now reading your commentand I swear I am going through the exact situation you are now. I had the awakening expirience in December last year and for the next three – four month i had the best expirience of my life. Radiant colors, beautiful sounds amd all that. But of late, i cant quite point out since when, i have been on utter depression, apathy, isolation, i cut off communication with most of my friends and half my family. I occasionally see the oneness in everything still, but it doesnt move me like it used to. I am still in this condition now and it has marvelled me how your comment describes my situation. Please let me know how you come out of it when you do. am still stuck

      • Lesley
        |

        I too am at a loss, my awakening lasted for 6 months. It was the most exhilarating experiences that I have ever encountered. This was about five years ago, through meditation, reading, and research, I have really been trying to get that state of oneness back. What I call spiritual depression, is otherwise known as the dark night of the soul. Has really taken its toll on me. I have really been searching for an answer to this because, I don’t feel like am a truly whe person now.

      • Lesley
        |

        I don’t know what happen at the end of my paragraph, but , it was suppose to say * I don’t feel like a truly whole person.

    • Robert
      | Reply

      Hi Alexandra. I hope that you are coming out of that extreme heavy stage now. Please don’t give up. It is very challenging indeed. You are NOT insane. Be honest about what is happening to you with the people around you, they may not understand in one way, but deep inside themselves they do. If you really have to collapse in a heap, then do so. There is nothing wrong with that. Take that time to rest as much as possible. Much Love, Robert

    • H
      | Reply

      Oh my, reading all those comments made me SO HAPPY and calm… I have a friend who understands me and also is very spiritual but still I wasn’t sure if I am going crazy or spiritually growing since I am not feeling okay and having mixed emotions. I am going to be calmer from now on and work on myself, knowing I don’t have personality disorder 🙂

    • Lizzie
      | Reply

      This is crazy. It can’t just be chance that I stumbled upon your comment. Everything you mentioned is what’s happening to me and I don’t think anyone I personally know understands. I’ve been experiencing this “awakening” for two years now. I have periods of months where life seems great, and then months where I can’t stop fantasizing of suicide… yet I have no actual desire to die. I just want life to be better and I know it has the potential to be. I also have the sense that I’m going to die soon, and I’ve felt as though I’m going to die in my mid-twenties since I was an early teenager (I’m 22 now). I have the feeling something huge is going to happen within the next 3 years. I’m not sure if it will be good or bad; I have the feeling it will be a combination of both. I have frequent delusions and I’m afraid I may be becoming a paranoid schizophrenic. I took some drugs a month ago, way more than I should have, and since then I can’t stop thinking about how I probably died and this is Hell. The past month has been the worst so far. I haven’t been able to be around people; it’s draining and I get paranoid. I’ve been eating healthy because I want to. I’ve been going on long walks through the forest every day, meditating at my city’s labyrinth, and I got the sudden urge to get into mountain biking. I bought a ton of books on various scientific and spiritual concepts a few months ago and I’ve finally started to read them regularly. I’m really interested in physics which is weird as hell to me. This is not like me at all, but I’m following this path because it’s been deliberately laid out for me. I’m way too curious to know where it’s going to take me… I just hope I keep my sanity on the way.

      • Alexandra Thomas
        |

        Hi Everyone..

        Just thought I would give everyone an update as to what has happened with me now..
        I didn’t go crazy, didn’t end up in a hospital, didn’t go on any medication and stayed away from the GP. I did however go on a meditation retreat for three days and recieved a lot of spiritual healing. I am finally out of that pit of hell, now I can eat and sleep again and experience good days and bad, rather than days that are just completely horrendus.
        I do also see a CBT therapist to help with my anxiety issues and OCD,
        I convinced myself that i had bipolar as feeling good some days and bad the other days can fit into the diagnosis so obviously I got pretty het up about it (my therapist has told me I don’t have bipolar lol)

        Now I am just starting to find myself again, picking myself up from the hell I have just been through..

        Still fighting, and going strong. x

      • SR
        |

        My “awakening” happened about 1 year ago now… I had no idea what was happening besides losing it…. I lost everything day by day like watching sand dissipate from my hand. I moved to a mountain top and was unable to function but had an enlightened friend taking care of me (I was unaware of their state at the time.) My life in short was over as I once knew it, I couldn’t find it anywhere. Depression is lightly put for the emotional roller coaster my being was experiencing from the relentless dying ego. Ways to take my deflated life became the only thing of interest, for motivation was a long distant dream and death seemed at least pleasing to digest. Through all this I had experiences of tuning in with certain frequencies, seeing spectrums, hearing people talk, (when there wasn’t a person in sight) intense love, physic abilities, energy sensitivities, bliss, calmness, and all that good stuff. But the good stuff is a simple reminder from the Divine source that you are on the right track…. To have such an experience in this lifetime is a gift that cannot be communicated with words, so trying to obtain understanding from other beings that still reside on the the 3rd dimension is a unfair task to ask of them. When the pain kicks in sit with it, feel it, love the pain, and be GRATEFUL for you are truly letting go of the nasty garbage that has been gathering in you for unknown lifetimes. The Divine crafts such a beautiful mess and to watch it unfold in front of my soul is the most exciting mystery that couldn’t be constructed by control of the ego/mind. The journey is a grueling one and begins fresh with each moment….But this is the only moment to be had.

    • Adrian
      | Reply

      Agreed with Husky, and I’ll add…
      I’ve gone through exactly what you talking about and its been non-stop for the last 3 years. Fortunately, I’ve read and heard enough teachers all saying the same things to know that I just have to let it take its course. Albeit, that doesn’t make it easy, but it makes it “easier”.
      Teachers remind us that: no matter what has happened or is happening it’s “ok”. I like to check with my doctor sometimes for reasurrances. Teachers recommend and I’ve found, the practice/act of Surrendering/Letting Go brings the most comfort and spontaneous intuitive realizations of what is happening and what needs to happen. Try not to get caught up in the: I must try to figure it out, give it meaning, or make determinations as to what’s happening. while those are fun for the mind, it limits our openness to flow with it. It’s also what creates the anxiety around it.
      Instead, be open to it’s processes, however it shows up. Take care of your body, give it LOTS of rest, eat well. Develop a practice of “Being with what is happening” and do this each time the anxiety or fear arises. Once U become familiar with what it feels like to surrender fully and to “Be what is happening” in any moment, you will likely experience much relief and be ok with most of the process. My understanding and experience is, spirit/source/? wants to clean us out, clean out the traumas, the triggers, the emotional and resulting physical baggage to being a completely wide open to the flow of the universe. It seems determined to take me to ever deeper levels of this. So hard to let go of control and the fear of death, but I can see it’s slowly taking me in that direction. Also breathwork has been a great tool for clearing out the traumas and past patterning. Good luck!
      Adrian

  38. Amanda
    | Reply

    Thank you for this post of this chapter of the book. I was trying to explain to someone my experience which wasn`t just an experience it was a complete change in my perception. I called it “Going to the moon, and not ever coming back.” They said they’ve had similar experiences, but they couldn’t have because they would have known what I was speaking of. Anyway, I typed random words in google that could possibly help me explain it better, which then came across this page. I just purchased the book and allowed my friends to read this page. Explained so well, and I definitely don’t feel alone any longer. Thank you again.

  39. anthony
    | Reply

    My awakening has become a scary complicated lonely experience. I had to die for me to live at this point makes no sense to me… It started off as an emotional tragedy created by my heart and cries. I’m back but loosing my way everything I seem to send out comes back to me in oppisite form. I won’t give up even if it takes my last breath of life! Thank you for reading, like anyone actually cares lol

    • Kristina
      | Reply

      Even though it can feel lonely and be scary you’re never alone. 🙂

    • Gavin
      | Reply

      I care brother. The same has happened for me. I feel so many things I became close to simply weren’t vibing with me anymore and it’s hard to foster that awakening when you aren’t around people who get it. There are so many people who get it. You’re not alone mate, keep being the best you can be and try not to get too attached to how you’re perceived. You’re awesome

    • husky light
      | Reply

      You are so cared for and loved . Xxx

    • H
      | Reply

      Same here, I guess we are not lonely and other people on the comment section are so nice it makes me happy.

  40. Carmen *
    | Reply

    Live the light, be the rays, share the invigoration in all you experience

    • anthony
      | Reply

      Your post caught my eye. It’s posted on a very special dreadful day… as I feel me awaking life gives me me more hope to see even more.

  41. Carmen *
    | Reply

    I love this, I love how everything just makes sense but nothing does until you listen; ponder; recognize how cheeky ego is 🙂 unmagnitize him and begin to view your lives and lessons to find the path you truely and justly share the most if what you are gifted with: the knowledge of all. Last week I had a giggle.. A camera landing on a comet. Scientists dedicate their lives towards trying to find discoveries.. When its everywhere… Most oHumanity can’t comprehend our understanding.. Stuck in the one same repeating process.. Our job is to evaluate our experiences because we have achieved all experiences and use the nuggets of gold we have to place in humanity; to we can collectively achieve perfection through 5 senses. Then awareness will total in unison.. With all that isn’t. … Expansion, infinity, timeless .. Expanding ripple further senses. All is infinite. Time captures a process of unity.

  42. Rabvit
    | Reply

    Hi! I am 24 years old and I have been going through my awakening these past months! It has been amazing. When it started it was a normal afternoon, I was reading a book and my mind triggered in some way. Something in my brain had a connection which made me gasp in awe and I knew some thing had changed. I came to the realization that we are all made of start dust. I have chosen an academic career getting various degrees and pursuing a life in corporate positions so I immediately began to do all kinds of research due to the images and realizations in my brain. From that point on I went through my struggle between my ego and my self. I analyzed every part of my being starting to see my life as a line of bright connections pin pointing various good and bad moments. I then began to see the bigger picture of life. I could see past the veil, past the lies the cheats. I can even see and understand connections in history from years ago, seeing that there are other beings in the universe that are connected to us. I see the magic in past beings as if all the answers are in my head and everything naturally makes sense. The journey has been tough and I was definitely confused, but my heart and mind could not be more grateful. I am excited and ready to experience more and use my spirituality to help our Earth. I struggle still with my everyday but I have planned a better life that will allow me to experience and explore this part of me while also having a stable life in this dimension. I decided to move to a country where I can feel connected to nature and am choosing to study a path different from the more corporate choices I had made. I can feel my powers coming back. I can sense more things than when I was a child and I now know that this has been me all along, I was just too scared to be who I am. I love this! I hope all of you here love it and use this to help humanity enlighten to better times. <3

    • Jessica
      | Reply

      Hello Rabvit!

      I am curious to know where you are now in your journey, if you would like to share. I am considering doing the same thing. Thank you 🙂

  43. chinedu
    | Reply

    thats d best thing that can happen to someone in this lifetime….wen i had mine, i didnt ve any prior informatn on spiritual awakenin…it startd wit feeling of floating, telepathy, visions, then chronic weakness, i know i was dieing yet i was not diagnoisd with any sickness, i felt my bones breaking apart, at first i resistd d force 2 die, but as i gave in and acceptd death dat night, it hapens i stil lived. ..then i began experiencing unimaginable miracles….evrytn was real…. i was spiritually born again i wil conclude.

  44. Stephen
    | Reply

    This morning I was up at 4am. I suddenly realised that the experience that I had in 1995 was a deep awakening. I always called it a rebirth and since 1995 grew into spirituality. What happened in 1995 was that I nearly died, it was a refusal to carry on in life. One night, I had visions of spirits, woke my mother up who thought I was losing my mind, I scared her to death, she called an ambulance and they took me to a psychiatric hospital. I was locked in for exactly 6 months. For 5 months I lost weight, lost the use of my limbs, they had to carry me to go to the toilets, to have a meal…, couldn’t swallow anymore…. Then I heard one day my mother ask the doctor if I would die and these words were a trigger. I was at that bifurcation point of my life and the trigger were the two words, die or live as the word die implied also live deep inside. From that day I started recovering, I saw everything in this world becoming magic, fascinating, beautiful, I lost the fear of being alone, abandoned…this occurred in aa matter of a month and the fascination kept going.
    Six months later I went abroad, started a new life, became a teacher which was one of the visions for my future life while in hospital. But after 10 years the need to isolate myself came back so I quit the job carried on teaching through internet and lived secluded in the mountains. Until 18 months agp when I had a new awakening which changed my life again. I realised that the sickness that I was told I had 27 years ago was not a sickness, that I had nothing at all and what I was told by doctors was a mistake. I took the risk of quitting all treatments. The doctor said that I would die in a few months. I then traveled around the world thinking that if I had to die I would at least die free of treatments that were ruining my life but deep inside I knew for sure that I had no thing. 18 months since then, I have an excellent health, I have kept recovering not from a disease but from treatments that I should never have taken. My family has come closer to me, I can say that when my mother goes, I will have had time to really make peace with her.
    There is still the duality plane in me although I have a deep sense of compassion and of universe belonging. I know I don’t live anymore in this world but I feel far more of the universe. What I do has sense and I do things with depth and passion. My passion level is 8 on a scale of 0 to 10 and I experience life as a n exciting day to day discovery. This life was probably the life that I was supposed to have and I got it through acceptance. I know that it will change again, that passion will then maybe reach a 10 out of 10, it means deep inside that new revelations will come up freeing further the mind and body. I would like so much to share all this with someone who could understand and respond. I have in mind of writing a book on what I experienced. I need to speak with people open enough first. I know this will come too.

    • Amelia
      | Reply

      I really enjoyed your story 🙂 Real talk. True self discovery. It doesn’t always look pretty. When we are fully awakened I believe we will understand that there were never any mistakes. Everything and everyone is spiritual and we are always on a spiritual journey even when we don’t acknowledge it with those words. Sending you encouragement. You are not alone 🙂

  45. Kim
    | Reply

    Emotional roller coaster in deed…don’t know if I’m coming or going most days. Reading of about other people’s awakening experiences helps tremendously. Confirms that I am not losing my mind and I am not alone. Positive affirmations and meditating also have been beneficial.

  46. Jim
    | Reply

    The process of realisation of existence when I no longer perceived reality started for me started in 2010. I conformed to the dictionary definition of psychosis because I couldn’t remember the words for anything. I locked my door and have lived a reclusive life since. I’m about to go back out into the world to ‘work’ to pay bills. I can’t describe what I feel. I am no longer a conditioned response mechanism, victimised by my own perception. What changed? How I feel! My feelings were responding to how I perceived the world. How I perceived the world was prejudiced by the beliefs I used to sustain my perception and the narrative I used to explain why I felt the way I felt. I am grateful and whilst the journey did not ‘feel’ easy, it was wonderful. No guru or teacher can help you, if he doesn’t reflect ‘you’. We are beyond words and concepts and how we feel is up to us.

    • Lynn Holbrook
      | Reply

      Jim, how did your reintegration back into the working world go? I have been healing for the past two years and now must also go back to pay to sustain life. Any suggestions would be helpful and greatly appreciated. God bless you. Lynn

  47. sheid
    | Reply

    I came here because I need help. I think I have full awaken or close to it and i do feel very disoriented, overwhelmed..I feel free yet I am a bit lost as to what to do next..i even feel as if I am going to die soon as if my time is approaching…i don’t know what i am feeling. I feel invincible, i feel like i can see clearly, yet i have lost everything..i have truly lost the world….the world that i thought i lived in. I can’t explain what I feel, i feel at peace inside but my head hurts a little because i am a bit overwhelmed. oh it’s so hard to explain…i think i just need to meditate 🙂 Namaste!!! This is indescribable, I even feel i am going ‘insane’!!

    • misty
      | Reply

      You are waking up 🙂 welcome to this beautiful journey.

      • H
        |

        I am crying while reading ur comment! believe it or not.. thanks 🙂

  48. Bea
    | Reply

    Thanks for suggesting this book. Trying to cope with the outside world when I don’t care about it anymore is hard. People talk, blah blah blah about such silly things. I hold my laughs and smiles in so people don’t think I am crazy. I find myself much happier when I am alone.

    • Jason
      | Reply

      I have also felt this way for some time now. At first, I thought I was going through some sort of deep depression, as there was stress in my life and I felt like nothing was going as I had planned. I soon realized that it wasn’t depression, I wasn’t sad in anyway, just awake more… and slowly I discovered that things like prime time television or even what people mostly talk about was becoming less and less interesting to me.

      How have you, or have you … been able to cope with the increasing disinterest in things that most people tend to talk about?

      • Amelia
        |

        I also have been having this experience. For example I was sitting with some people last night and instead of hearing conversations I just see their egos defining themselves, I hear them speaking within their limited world view and realise that the conversation itself is not interesting to me because what is spoken of is only one tiny part of reality when we could be speaking of so much more. Infinite possibilities!. Since there is no separation how can an awakened mind judge others. Is that not judging oneself? This is my current lesson I am working through

  49. Matt
    | Reply

    There is something hard to understand: what happens with life after Awakening. I’m not talking about introspective feeling, Ego or Self, I’m talking about everyday jobs, relationships, family, friends. Now, I feel every job is useless, every single moneybill is nothing more than a piece of paper, every dreams I aways had are only childish fantasies. I work to buy stuff and consume, but why? There is no place to live in this system if you mean to be free of consumerism.

    Take the private property for instance, there is nothing more absurd to me than buying a piece of land and build a house on it. No one has the right to sell or buy a piece of land. Every wall, fences, national and international borders are only imaginary, they’re just like the money, but people would kill or die to protect these delusions.

    This is the real question after awakening. Awekened, now what? Should I go back to my useless dayjob so I can buy stuff I don’t need? Should I work my dayjob so I can buy poisoned industrial food and reciclated water to keep my heart beating? Should I stay on my dayjob so I can spend my hole life paying for a tiny piece of land where my house is? Isn’t there something better to us, human beings?

    Everything, absolutelly every aspect of living in the System sounds silly right now. I am completelly lost.

    • Belle
      | Reply

      There are still responsibilities in life that we need to fulfill, like taking care of family, without a job or any passive income to earn income, there’s no way we can take care and support our family. imo, spiritual awakening doesn’t mean to give up your life with what you still fundamentally require to maintain daily life, but just use money in a good way 🙂

      • Michelle
        |

        This is exactly how I felt through the most recent part of my journey. I was frustrated by the experience of a completeness of balance in all things I was perceiving. An inability to really get behind any sort of anger or confusion in everyday situations even ones that were devastating in my personal life. Seeing all things as whole and balanced was all well and good for the infinite but michelle was watching Rome burn. And failing to really care on a level of action. This part you are still staring into the expansion things will reach a tipping point. For me balance began to take an odious form. Bland and monotonous. I began to perceive a lack of color anywhere. Then it happened. I was reflecting on my search for abiding wakefulness in an objective 3rd party way. Watching myself pursue it in a linear, it’s up there above me kind of way. A destination of destinations in the mist. Have you ever been busted by your friends asking an absolutely ridiculous question and they laugh at you? That’s how “so far so abiding” wakefulness occurred for me. I literally perceived laughter directed at me. As if my closest friend was giving up the farce and revealing to me a obviousness I just really should have seen all along. A laughter that said “for years michelle you are hilarious. Not a single moment or slip but for years my beloved puppet you are hilarious. Feasted we have on the entertainment of your unknowing but now is revealed the backward handed thought you are convinced is strait” I was suddenly and profoundly aware that the only place of comfort for me was within this human experience. Too vast and incomprehensible and without flavor is the vastness of infinity for a human to dwell. To focus gazing at the infinite is to dress in an elaborate costume and stand in awe of the image before you. Eventually you understand that it is without merit. It is one experience among all experience and like all experience it only holds the merit you give it. Overall. To you personally it has profound value and the infinite can only experience that value through you. So laughing I saw how I was using my tools backwards. Staring at the infinite is a useless feedback loop. Staring at the infinite through the language of how it is expressed in humanity is how you begin to truly explore the depth of the infinite. Staring into the void is simply staring into the void. You are looking backwards up the lens. Fleeing with gladness back to my boundaries I felt reorganized back into my life. I still see the monotonous balance all over but I watch it through the rhythm of life instead of through contemplation of higher concepts. And I am healed by the knowledge of my own perfect balance in which I struggle as all beings struggle with their own perfect balance. It is a brilliant lightshow. Once I found truth bit by piece here and there and now suddenly, instead of looking for truths here and there I see THE truth everywhere and in all things. My life has been an intimate conversation with the infinite that I am only just now becoming aware of. The whole of my life, as yours has been. It was never a destination. It has always been an evolving experience. Awakening for me is simply a point at which you learn that you’ve understood everything all along. And by that I mean you can reflect into your past and see exactly how you have completely manipulated the gears of the universe in an attempt to teach yourself how to see how you are manipulating it. I look at all people and though they sleep I see and know wakefulness is a breath away from them. All are boiling at the edge of it. I am not so very much further down the road. In fact I’ve only had an experience that will alter my experience. As all experience does to the predictable degree which is directly related with how much meaning we give it. (Which is awesomely a lot)

        Am I awake? Am I not awake? Has it happened? Has it happened enough?

        HA, said the infinite. Within the infinite you seek always only the finite.

        Am I awake? You are as awake as you are. Am I not awake? You are as not awake as you still are. Has it happened? It’s been happening all along, happened implies doneness. There will be no doneness within the infinite. Has it happened enough? That’s really up to you. With ridiculous ease these sunk deep into my understanding. If your experience continues in any accord with mine just keep staring into the void, or backwards up the lens it will continue to dissolve the conditioning between you enough to step into your inheritance and begin to see down from the infinite and out in the world as it expresses around you. In the appreciation that we bring color and meaning and growth and experience. That is our gift as human beings. And how important is that in a dreamless void?

    • sheid
      | Reply

      I completely understand how you feel! exactly…now what? there is no place for us here…i think we’ll die soon! it’s overwhelming isn’t it.

    • Nick
      | Reply

      Hey man, what you’re feeling is normal. It’s not an ending point by any means though. Keep going and things wont seem so meaningless. They will be ‘meaningless’, but without the ego’s judgement on it.

    • chris
      | Reply

      i too have many upon many thoughts of this. we now have seen so deep into the void, but then we come back feeling incomplete, events seem meaningless, its like when we woke up we saw in such a deeper feeling into a love, that all was taken care of, god took the wheel, and we just went along for the ride, but eventually the ride stops, we are now back to sleep, only not fully. we want to come back and care, but its like we do not react to the world the same way others do, but we do not, not react the same in other ways. for me, it almost feels like i am in hell, or limbo. i am depressed, i experience less comfort in myself, my body. i feel in a way that i am chained in darkness, and feel myself being pulled both by illusion and truth, in both directions at once, neither feels freeing. for myself awakening happened over a few months after an extreme lose of my world i was attempting to create for myself, living up to the standards of the world, i lost it all, the love of my life, my job, house, all in a split moment without warning, it was the last straw, i lost it, i experienced sheer terror of myself, i wanted to die, but felt guilty to do so. through this, i had found spirituality, rather than religion . everything i thought i knew of the bible and other religious texts opened up to me in a new light of what they were teaching. over a few months, i had found myself experience revelation after revelation, i eventually found myself floating in the very allness between the all. the spirit connected to itself, no longer meditating, but becoming meditation. everything became one within and out. i never thought it possible to come back to conditions of the world. i am both confused and scared, because through these experiences, i found myself speaking, acting in ways different than i ever did before, or am now, i mean the studies all made sense at the time until i experienced myself being pulled back to a physical body, and back to this world. obviously there is something here that is important to figure out now that i find more and more of us experiencing similar experiences into our very existence, our religions, our universe.

      • Lynn Holbrook
        |

        Hi Chris,
        I understand exactly what you said about it all making sense until you came back into your body and the resulting confusion. The way I’ve understood this in myself is that the cells of the body have a somatic, felt sense memory-a stored intelligence that needed to be cleansed and restored. What has helped my body assimilate my new mind is Faster-EFT tapping, yoga, massage, accupressure, chiropractic adjustments, getting enough sun and sleep, eating well, praying, affirmations and visualizations and learning how energy moves through our body-the chakra system. God bless you, brother. Lynn 🙂

  50. Ginger
    | Reply

    I want to thank you,Matt for posting Adyashanti’s work”The End of Your World”. This is exactly what I needed to understand at this point on the journey. You also are doing great work for humanity. Thank you again!!

    • Ann
      | Reply

      It’s living in two worlds that is the frustrating thing. Since my awakening I find life more difficult because we Are in the world but not of the world. So just live with moderation until you pass on to the next world.

      • Fabrice Le Luyer
        |

        From my own experiences there is no duality in enlightenment.

      • Lynn Holbrook
        |

        It’s as you say, Ann. We are separate and individual and yet part of the whole at the same time. It is one of the mysteries of life we will understand when we pass on. Trusting you have found peace. Lynn 🙂

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